A quiet moment: with Shirley Cai

I’m excited to share a few precious words (and two great recipes!) from one of my favourite people, Shirley Cai. Shirls and I met close to ten years ago now, and immediately connected over our love for books and pour over coffee. In 2015 we created one of my favourite projects together, a poetry and photography self published book called Safe Place. While we are currently separated by something like a 25hr journey across the oceans, every time we speak it feels like there’s no distance, and no time passed. Shirley is wise beyond her years and one of my biggest inspirations in creating beauty through images, words and the minute detail of daily life.

Your cosmic profile: HD + sun, moon, rising: 

Emotional 6/2 Manifestor, Gemini sun and moon, Cancer rising

 

Has anything changed since learning you were a manifestor?

There have been a lot of perspective shifts and I feel like I’m slowly opening up more space in my life for me to pursue the things I love. After learning that I was a manifestor, I was able to understand why I move about the world the way I do. Ideas or paths often feel like they pop up out of nowhere. Yet I always know when it’s the right thing to do because I feel invigorated by the ideas. When something isn’t right, I can immediately tell because I feel frustrated or constrained. Now that I know this is something that is quite natural for me to experience as a manifestor, I listen to these cues. I’ve also become much more conscious and intentional about how I carry my energy and how I communicate what I’m doing to those around me. It’s taught me how to honour my needs while still considering the needs of those around me with care. 

 

What has the importance of ritual or practice been in your life in recent years, especially since making an international move so young in life?

I was 21 when I moved from Australia to America. Reflecting on it now, I realize that I was so young and had so much to learn. I think it was only when I moved that I started implementing rituals and routines into my everyday life. It was my first time living away from my support system and a lot was happening. I was trying to become acquainted with a new city, a new country, and learn about the history of it all. On top of that, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do post-study, who I was, and how I wanted to contribute to my community. So the rituals I started practicing helped to ground me so that I could feel centered enough to settle the noise in my head and tackle everything. In the last couple of years in particular when everything has been so unpredictable and unsettling, these rituals have become very important. The practices I follow are very simple: a morning movement/exercise routine, a gratitude practice, journaling, reading, writing daily pages.

 

What has been one of the highlights, or beautiful moments in this process of creating home in a new country? 

The most beautiful thing in this whole experience has been deepening my bond to my family and my Vietnamese heritage. After the war in Vietnam, almost all of my extended family immigrated to America. My parents were one of the few in our family that went to Australia. I didn’t realize it at the time, but in moving to America, I was able to make up for lost time in a way. I got to connect with aunts, uncles, and cousins that I barely saw while growing up in Australia. I got to spend time with my Bà Ngoại before she passed.

Moving countries as an adult gave me a deeper understanding and appreciation of what my parents went through when they left Vietnam for Australia. Our experiences mirror one another but they’re also so different, especially because of my upbringing in a Western country. When I reflect on this process, I just think of how incredible and strong and creative my parents are. This experience has completely reshaped my understanding of migration and movement. 

The narrative tends to be to find a craft and stick to it. You’ve been a talented photographer since forever, but you’re also a brilliant writer, creative director, producer and more. Do you have a process in learning a new art form or discipline? 

Thank you, this is so very kind of you to say. I love learning new things, but I have been trying to really negotiate with that narrative lately because in the past it’s made me see my interest in multiple practices as a disadvantage. I think society has hardwired into our brains that we need to maximise our time to become masters of one thing. I’ve come to realise it’s okay to do things your own way especially if you don’t have the means or opportunities to stick with one craft and excel at it. For me, my body and my spirit enjoy the act of creating and telling stories so much that it doesn’t even matter what form it takes on, as long as that form can do the story justice. 


The actual process of learning different forms and crafts has helped a lot with reframing this narrative. I really enjoy research. I take as much time as I need to learn a discipline so that I can pursue and practice it with confidence. I usually begin the process by reading and allowing my mind to follow whatever tangent it wants to. Then I seek out as many other avenues of education as possible: conferences, workshops, writing groups, community classes, projects, and talking with people who are masters of their crafts. I’m a huge advocate for alternative forms of education because the traditional routes sometimes just aren’t always accessible. 

 

How do you overcome roadblocks, fears or anxieties in learning new skills, or creating new work? 

The first thing I do is I try to acknowledge that something is not working. Instead of pushing through the fog in my mind, I just stop. Then I find ways to rest so that I can open up space for creativity and drive to flow again. One big way I release anxieties is through moving my body. When those moments arise I try to take long walks or runs.

 

Can you offer any words of support for someone stuck bringing their creative ideas onto the physical plane?

Take breaks. Look for the intention behind what you’re trying to do and make the work from that place.

 

Are you someone who is very organised, disciplined and linear in your work, or does it tend to come in spurts and waves? 

I am a bit of both, but mainly a spurts and waves kind of person. I love to get organized, to create to-do lists, and set deadlines for myself. This all helps me set up a framework. But how the work actually unfolds can look different everyday, and this is where it feels like it comes in spurts and waves. Regardless of whatever medium I’m working in, my ideas usually come when I’m resting, showering or walking. As soon as they hit, I feel compelled to just sit down and get as much of the ideas out. I don’t really have a linear workflow. I just go with the ideas that I feel guided to follow in that moment. 

 

How do you connect with natural world while living in the city? 

I try to make the most of the green spaces available in the city. I spend a lot of time walking/listening to music/reading in parks. Water is an important element to me, so I go down to the East River a lot. In the summer and fall, I try to go upstate or do day trips to places like Storm King. The Thain Family Forest is an incredibly special spot to visit too. 

 

I’m coming to NYC for 24 hours: where are we going, what are we doing!? 

We’re starting the day in Chinatown with vegan dim sum at Buddha Bodai. Then we’re going to stop off at Yu & Me Books. We’ll do a little photowalk, eventually ending up at McNally Jackson where we’ll pick up some more books. We’re going to walk up to Tompkins Square Park, grab coffees and sit for hours, people watching, and listening to live jazz in the park. To end the day we’ll walk the Williamsburg Bridge at sunset and wind up at Leo for pizza. 

Any more favourite NYC spots we should know about?

7115  

Dashwood Books 

Nitehawk Cinema

ICP

Mel 

bạn bè 

Saigon Social 

Congee Village

Cafe Mogador

Sugar Sweet Sunshine 

Rule of Thirds 

 

FAVOURITES 

All time read: On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong, Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion, and A Little Devil In America by Hanif Abdurraqib. Sorry, I know that’s three! I couldn’t narrow it down. 

Current read: Buddha Mind, Buddha Body by Thich Nhat Hanh

 

Magazine / journal: The Happy Reader, Peddler :)  

 

Blog / online journal: I don’t read many online journals, but Jenna Wortham writes a beautiful email newsletter called Channeling

 

Recipe / food: One of my comfort foods is a Vietnamese dessert called Thạch, a coconut agar jelly. My mum made this for me growing up, and it’s one of my favourite recipes of hers. She always has a tub waiting for me in the fridge when I visit home. Begin by adding 400ml water to a medium pot. Slowly stir in 4 teaspoons of agar powder and let it melt and dissolve over a low heat. Add in 4 tablespoons of sugar and stir until that disappears. Pour in a can of coconut cream. I like to use the Savoy brand. Follow this with 4 generous tablespoons of condensed milk if you have a sweet-tooth like me. Adjust if you don’t. Bring everything to a slow boil, while stirring occasionally. Turn off the heat and spoon into one large Tupperware. Leave it to cool in the fridge overnight and cut into squares to serve. 

 

Beverage:  Pourover coffee, matcha yuzu lemonade 

 

Listening: Texas Moon by Leon Bridges and Khruangbin

 

Scent: Deep Forest Room Diffuser from Frama, Maison Louis Marie No. 4 Perfume Oil 

 

Beauty product / ritual: Drink 2 liters or more of water daily. Wash my face with Drunk Elephant Best Jelly Cleanser or Lesse Refining Cleanser, some days both. Follow by lathering my face in Everyday Oil. Floss always.  

 

My pourover coffee recipe: Almost every morning starts with a coffee. This method is hardly a recipe! It’s a bit of a mish-mash of recipes I gleaned from books, coffee classes (with you!), and lessons from friends. I use a V60 filter and beans from Ethiopia. I start by grinding 25g of coffee. I wet my paper filter, pour excess water out. Tip the ground beans into the V60 paper and then pour water in until the total weight reaches about 60g. I let the grounds bloom for 30 seconds. Then I slowly pour about ten spirals, starting in the center, working my way out to the rim. I let it drip for a bit before I repeat that process, but this time working from the outside back into the center. By the end, I have 350g of water in total in my cup and it takes roughly 2 minutes. It’s not perfect, but it works perfectly for me… :) 

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Notes on Grace

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Why I always take the scenic route