social media strategy: why I don’t have one
image from pintrest
Recently, I received a question from a wonderful IG friend about the growth of my instagram account over the last year. She asked if I had implemented anything in particular — was there something that really changed the game for me? Or was it more of a natural unfolding over time?
Around the same time, I came across a reel with the title: how to grow your followers X amount in a week. Reading the tips on this highly shared, visually stunning reel made me giggle. Literally everything they were suggesting was the exact opposite of what has worked for me on social media.
Firstly, I feel SO grateful I can giggle and smile at this now. For a very long time, watching content like that would throw me into a negative feedback loop, circling around why I would never ‘make it’ (whatever that means), focusing heavily on what was wrong with ME and wondering why this approach felt so weird and icky and hard and ultimately, never worked.
Now I look at it, and I think: isn’t it so wild how different we all are.
But I do wonder if there are others too, trapped in that feedback loop, subconsciously consuming what has worked for others, on repeat, every day, every week, every month, until all you have is six thousand opposing strategies in your head and no idea where to start and what it is you’re supposed to do.
I cannot tell you how many people I meet in soft business sessions and 1:1 readings who feel it is all their fault they cannot make a particular strategy work, why they’re not growing at the speed of light, jumping immediately to self blame instead of asking, is this strategy even right or correct for me? or am I even in a place where strategy is necessary at all?
It should go without saying but here’s the disclaimer part:
I have no interest in arguing with anyone about why social media strategy works and is important.
Actually I have no interest in arguing with anyone, in general.
I’m way more excited about sharing how incredibly varied and different we all are.
So with this:
I am not saying strategy doesn’t work.
I am not saying strategy isn’t important.
All I’m saying is, it hasn’t worked for me, so far.
What I share below is not the answer, or the best practice.
It might be the opposite of what has worked, or will work for you.
This is a story about my unique and individual experience: that’s all.
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I have said this before but:
I do not have a content schedule.
I do not create from a place of trying to add value.
I do not have a brand vision.
I do not have an ideal customer or client.
I do not look at social media statistics.
I do not have specific and set business or financial goals.
When creating content, I do not think about what people might want to hear or learn from me.
I do not think about how it will perform or convert.
I absolutely do not think of pain points.
I do not have professional photos.
I do not have a colour platte or branding for my IG.
None of these things are inherently bad.
I have tried implementing them to varying degrees over the years, and what I have found so far, is approaching social media from this perspective only steers me completely off course.
It just doesn’t work for me.
This could change in the future (who knows what the future holds!!) but it is true for me right now. I am sharing this to give an example of someone who has been able to grow a healthy and sustainable business without these things.
I am sharing because the voice of how my content strategy 10xed my clients income in a MONTH and join my mastermind and consistently hit 7 figure launches from the bathtub is so, so loud. And again, there’s nothing wrong with this kind of messaging, until you’re consuming it all day long and thinking you’re the problem because you’re not a millionaire at 25, or that’s what a successful business looks like, or that you’re behind because you’re not seeing results three months in.
The thing is, if all we had to do was follow the #winningstrategy, we’d all be bathtub Jessica, or our version of it.
(mine is #onsenemmie, of course).
Despite what we might tell ourselves: it’s not that we’re lazy, or not good enough or the person selling that particular strategy is lying or wrong.
It probably just isn’t for you, right now.
That’s it.
That’s all.
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Sharing our creative work, putting ourselves out there, growing a business, whatever it is, can be really vulnerable and scary. To decide on a strategy or sign up to a course that promises a certain result we’re after feels like the safe, smart thing to do. The people around us say, are you really serious about this? What’s your why? Who’s going to buy or read that? Who’s going to work with you? Yeah but what’s your plan?
As much as this can come from a well intentioned place, and might be super important in some cases, say for example, you want to make and sell Amazon’s #1 anti-cellulite butt brush, or something like that, but for many reading this, for those of us who want to share our writing or illustrations or offer classes or readings or build a community, this type of thinking can directly sever our connection to our intuition, our inner knowing and our authority before we’ve even begun. Roll your eyes all you want: but I can’t help but believe this is the only place we can make truly excellent decisions from.
When I first began to flirt with taking a tiny portion of my yoga teaching work online, I went all in because I wanted to prove to myself and others I was really serious. I was doing my best! I was trying! I wasn’t just trusting it would all work out!
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I didn’t have any savings, but I invested what I could into a website and branding. I signed up to B-School and spent every spare moment collecting free courses, workshops and PDF’s about online business, copywriting, social media and content creation: hoping, wishing and praying there would be something I would resonate with.
I started writing out specific action steps, manifestations and goals.
I started creating content for the purpose of informing people about my work and the benefits of Rest.
I set aside time each week to ‘focus on my business’ and attempted to have a vague content schedule / plan for my instagram and newsletters.
I worked with someone who really encouraged me to get clear on defining what made me different, what type of clients I wanted to reach and stressed the importance of summing up my business and offerings in a single line.
At first, a lot of this felt exciting.
I knew I could work hard. I knew I had something to offer. I knew I could follow these steps, even though I felt resistance to them.
It all made sense.
I felt safe in the belief that if I did all ‘the right things’ it would work. Because everyone was saying the same thing. They sounded very certain and very sure - who was I to disagree?
I felt that if I presented a shinier, well put together version of myself, with professional photos and a pretty instagram and a strong niche it would all work out.
I could take you through this, step by step, but to avoid boring the literal shit out of you, all you need to know is this: all it did was take me further away from myself, and any kind of success.
It’s another story for another time, but it was the moment that I really began to understand my human design that I experimented, baby step by baby step, with letting all of the rules and the should’s go.
It was terrifying, and it took me years.
But i’ve never looked back.
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So, back to the original question: what changed the game?
Everything and nothing at all.
꩜ A new level of arriving into and understanding myself.
꩜ More time spent on writing (weirdly a couple months after I started this substack, the IG growth really took off).
꩜ Looking at all the ways I was trying to be like everyone else (so cringe, but so important).
꩜ Looking at all the ways I was trying to prove that myself and my business were ‘good’ and ‘worthy’ and ‘professional enough’ (more cringe, but even more important).
꩜ A deeper level of surrender and trust in myself.
꩜ Trusting that the words and ideas would come when I needed them.
꩜ Trusting myself to still post something even when I was telling myself: this is boring, this is ugly, no one cares, you’re so annoying.
꩜ Taking a break when needed, but also making space to be inspired and to show up when I was not actually resting, but avoiding creating anything at all.
꩜ Showing up even when friends unsubscribed from my mailing list, even when no one replied to a newsletter I spent an entire day writing or no one showed up to join my IG live.
꩜ Posting something and then throwing my phone under the couch for a few hours in sheer horror. Doing it again when the time was right.
꩜ Being inspired and delighted by others while still remembering what works for them, may not work for me.
꩜ Remembering every perceived success online, no matter how quick or effortless it might seem, has a story we can never know.
꩜ Developing a deep, deep trust in the ups and downs, the ebbs and flows of my own creativity and inspiration as well as the business itself.
꩜ Learning to love the lulls, the quiet moments and the void as much as the highs and the expansion.
꩜ Never giving up :)
🕊️ QUESTIONS 🕊️
What marketing do you do outside of Instagram, Substack and Email Newsletters?
None!
I’m not against paid marketing by any means, it’s just not something I have explored at this point. I know I should probably be on TikTok, but right now it feels like a strong no. I’m not sure the cost to my mental health is worth it and I also don’t feel comfortable outsourcing any of my social media for now. I did pop two videos up on Youtube a couple of months ago but again, it’s not something I’m prioritising at the moment.
After such a massive jump in followers last year (I went from 20k to 108k in about nine months) and growing TDR studio from zero to where it is now, which is beyond anything I ever imagined, I instinctively feel less excited about reaching more followers or clients but instead feel this is the time to work on things like this substack, classes in the studio, spending time chatting in DM’s and on IG stories to really show up for the people who are already here (hi! 👋 thank you!)
This is not something I planned and I’m not trying to be humble or anything. There will very likely be a time where I feel I’m ready to grow again, but at a certain point last year I just felt like: okay that’s enough!! Let’s find the ground beneath us again. I also realised I had less energy for things like feed posts and reels, and more for sharing (semi) privately in stories and really building out the studio with plenty of practices and classes, getting to know the members better, writing longer newsletters and so on.
Did you structure your brand vision at the start or did you just do what felt good?
After my first peek into a brand identity / vision back in 2017-2018, I have left this behind completely. When people started to ask me for Human Design readings, I struggled a lot with bringing it into my business because it did not fit the brand I had created. I felt like I had to stick to a singular niche of Rest / Restorative Yoga, and I genuinely believed that if I came out as a human design reader I would lose students, friendships and I even feared for my relationship. I’m not joking here! It was a sore point for my ex and I, and an incredible lesson I needed to learn about *not* shrinking myself for the comfort of people I love.
The day after I officially announced I was doing readings, I walked into the staff room of the yoga studio and my worst fear was confirmed: they were gossiping about me. It hurt and I felt a lot of shame and embarrassment, but I’m really glad it happened, because it was my worst fear and still: it was not the end of the world. And of course, most of the gossipers ended up learning from me in the end ;)
All this to say: I’m so happy I trusted my joy and excitement over my fear and over my limited ideas of what a business or brand should look like, especially before it was even really established at all. That being said, it’s super fun working with a designer to bring an online home to life! I can’t wait to do it again in the future.
Did you ever market yourself as a yoga teacher?
I think I always have. For me, being seen as a yoga teacher was never about images / videos of asana. I remember in the early days feeling sick at the thought of having to post myself practicing online. I’d watch videos of incredibly gorgeous, extremely flexible women and just feel like I would never be enough because my body simply doesn’t move that way, even though I am lucky to feel physically mobile and strong. At some point I made a conscious decision not to consume content like that and it took a HUGE weight off. I adore asana and physical movement, but for me, the really incredible part of the practice is about how it changed the course of my life and how much it continues to teach me about myself, so that’s the stuff I share.
I’ve always written newsletters, stories and shared posts about my experiences teaching and practicing yoga. It might not be obvious at first, but the thread is always there. I feel like it’s so important to look beyond the expected ways of sharing what we do and love. Just because you teach yoga doesn't mean you have to post asana reels. Just because you’re an astrologer doesn't mean you have to post about every full and new moon. Likely your way of sharing might feel a little scary, for sure, but it should also feel GOOD.
How do you know you’re being yourself?
I believe it comes down to experimentation. If we are being super honest with ourselves, we usually know when we’re trying to do something for the likes / results / because we think we have to / because it worked for someone else. Often it’s really hard to tell unless you just do it, and notice how it feels. A great tell tale sign is when you’re really frustrated and bitter like, I did that stupid trending audio thing and still only two people liked my post - this kind of reaction probably means it’s not your way right now.
I think the most powerful thing we can do on all levels is get it wrong and keep going, as many times as it takes. To remember no one else cares as much as you do. What you perceive as a failure is nothing more than an imperceptible blip in everybody else's day. As I wrote above, when it’s something really authentic it might often feel like: is that it? It might come quite effortlessly, or you might tell yourself it’s not enough. This doesn’t mean it isn’t scary to put yourself out there, but it shouldn’t feel like you have to become someone else in order to grow and make it work. Especially if we’re thinking about something sustainable long term.
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In Conclusion,
(I feel like I only just got started, but even for substack this is getting LONG).
I am grateful for patience. I have been posting online for like, sixteen years. No matter how many times I quit one blog or project or job and started another, I was never, ever starting from scratch. I’m grateful for every minute I put into my indie sleaze fashion blog in 2008 no one ever read and the poetry I spent WEEKS editing and was paid $50 for. It counts.
I am grateful for human design. understanding and experimenting with my human design really did change a LOT for me. It has taken YEARS of unlearning and I still have a lifetime to go. Very often leaning back into my design can be uncomfortable and takes me to WILDLY unexpected places, but it’s been years of dedication to this experiment and it only gets better (and more sci fi). If you’re not drawn to Human Design, cool. You could easily replace this with Astrology, Intuition or simply learning how to listen to and TRUST your inner knowing and inner voice through any approach that feels right for you. Especially at this time on the planet I’m not sure if there is anything more important.
I am grateful for Rest. I simply could not do what I do without it. I believe the main reason I was able to really embody, integrate and live my design, not just understand it intellectually, was due to my Rest practice. My practice teaches me every single day things just do not work when I rush, push or force. It reminds me of who I actually am, and what is truly important (not instagram). I genuinely don’t know how people show up online, run a business or simply exist in this world without some kind of meditation or Rest practice. It’s my eternal safe place, and the reason I am not (yet) insane.
I am grateful for connection. I am extremely lucky that since the very beginning of being self-employed, I have been completely surrounded with people who are also self-employed, creatives, have small businesses or are simply committed to living and working in a different way. Of course over the last couple of years this has only heightened through my soft business work and tdr studio. I cannot tell you how important this has been. I am so grateful for the countless people I have met who are doing business and social media in a radically gentle way, and killing it. You can find this connection through a mentor, a coach or an online business container yes, but you can also create these support systems and networks with your friends. Create a group chat! Schedule a Zoom meeting once a month and don’t miss it. Collaborate! Make stuff together! Have fun with it! Honestly this better than any social media strategy I’ve ever seen.
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🌸 WANT TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER BREAKING THE RULES?
BUD TO BLOOM: is coming up in June. I have just extended the early bird until April 25th!! This is three month, in-depth group mentoring cocoon for the seasons of creation and work. I am SO excited for this. The group we have so far is just so so incredible. You’ll want to join just to get to know them! 🥲 I can’t wait to spend this time with you all!!
CELESTIAL RYTHMS: a soft business workshop all about working with the energetics of the days of the week. Finding your own celestial rhythm to lean on and adapt over time. Included in Bud to Bloom if joined before May 10th!
very limited 1:1 sessions & mentoring available here from May-August.
🌸🌸 GEEK OUT A LITTLE MORE
Podcast | Soft Business for the Sensitives with Ella Cotteral
Intuitive Business Interviews | Jules Ferrari, Lisa O’Connor & Amanda Norgaard
The Three Pillars of Soft Business | an IG chat